Oh to have a pony!!!

The annual Chingoteague Pony swim is coming up. This year it is on Wednesday, July 29th. I remember when I was younger reading Misty of Chincoteague - and forever wishing I too had a pony. My parents took me to the pony round-up one year......and what I can remember most was not the hot sun and bugs....but watching those heads bob up and down as the ponies swam toward the island. The foals would struggle to keep up with their mothers. I would love to take my daughter to see this event that has been going on since 1925 - but I think she might enjoy it more if we went in the off season and toured the island .....so we can see these creatures at their best.

I think it would be awesome to be a wild pony....free to run the beach!!!

photo credit: laura travels, tviolette

Have you Hooked lately?

My momma was one that thought you should always learn to sew, knit, crochet and latch hook. Growing up I made so many latch work rugs.....I am surprised they did not cover the house. Sewing came fairly easy .... my momma was always sewing and I had a class in 8th grade. For my college graduation - my momma gave me my very own machine!!!
But ~ it was not until after I had my daughter that I took up knitting. Not sure why it took this long....I know that I had learned when I was younger...but it took a while to catch on. My daughter is a year round swimmer ~ therefore, many hours are spent sitting at a pool. Several of us moms decided knitting would be a good thing to try and many a scarf came out of our group.....never could make it to the next level ~ a hat! Of course the kids had to get into it and so we have MANY half done scarves or "doll" scarves.
Next came the latch hook kits from grandma. My momma thought it would be something fun for Bailey to work on in her free time. Bailey was about 5 or 6 years old......and she loved "hooking" as she called it. After we peeled ourselves off the floor from laughing, we told her NOT to refer to it as "hooking" outside the house.....she might get a few looks. Nothing like a 6 year saying she has been "hooking" ~ yup - I started her young :)
Now - we have decided to take up crocheting. My momma made Bailey a lovely pink blanket and she made herself a KING size comforter!!! So as a tribute to my momma, I thought it would be fun to take it up again. We bought the beginner book, a pack of needles and found my stash of yarn from my momma......and our journey has begun. We are off and running hoping to make a blanket.....ok...maybe a pot holder. But just like her "hooking" ....we are not crocheting....we are crotch-et-ing. Not sure where her mind is...remember, she is only 11 ....but I think we are in trouble. She is the only person I know that can take sewing and creating and turn it into a sexual reference. So for the time being....Bailey and I will be crotcheting and hooking our creations away.

sucking air through a straw

I think I have finally figured out what is going on with ME. For the last couple of months I have just not "felt" like myself....a little off. I go through the motions of each day, but can't seem to get motivated fully. I now know what is happening....I am swimming under water trying to "suck air through the straw of life" You know when you look up toward the sky under water and everything is distorted....and looks distant....well...that is how I feel. I want to climb back to the top and grab hold of life.

Part may be that after losing my momma and having my father disown me...kinda left me floundering for "who" I am. I have a GREAT & AWESOME hubby and daughter...and my in laws are the BOMB! but, {yup - the illustrious "BUT"} I seem to be at a loss for "WHO" I am. Over the past several years I have been in therapy and been able to look back and study my childhood. I am not a fan of "blame the parents" .....but your parents are who shape and mold you and are supposed to "guide" you. Please do not get me wrong...I do NOT blame my parents for who I am today.....every experience I have gone through has brought me to "who" I am today.

A little history - my mother and father were of the era that the wife was "devoted" to the husband. He said breathe and she did. He gave her an allowance - because he did not want her to work. They held their monthly bridge parties, and she was the glamorous host at his business get togethers. Times have definitely changed!!! But about 16 years ago, my mother LEFT my father because she was tired of that life and wanted to become her own person. Have her own life and do what she wanted when she wanted.....plus - she was tired of dealing with his bouts of depression {he did not get dressed for a whole year}

Coming up - I honestly can say I was a good kid. I never have tried drugs, I never snuck out or broke curfew. - now that is not to say that I did not drink, mess around and play pranks. My father had me studying ALL year, attending the best prep school all in the hopes to attend DUKE ~ HIS undergrad school. {as well as my mommas} Since birth it was drilled in me that I would go to Duke. Every ball I kicked, every day I volunteered at the hospital, every book I read was all for DUKE. Guess what....I went to NCSU!!!! go Wolfpack!!!! {could not get into DUKE}

I do not regret the life I have lived, but I do wish that I could have been allowed to follow my dreams. I loved to dance and did so for 14 years, but that was not something that I could pursue. I played soccer with reckless abandonment as well as fast pitch softball. I even was on a year round swim team for a while. I guess you can say I am VERY VERY competitive. I have always wanted to live at the beach, live a summer in Europe, and get in a car and just "GO". But...I has a "PLAN" - my father's plan. DUKE. {a little in site into my father....what he says goes, he gives advice, but if you do not listen to it and use it, you are WRONG}

I am now 38 and trying to figure out what I want to do. I am happily married {I married who I wanted to} and have a beautiful daughter. Yes I have many dreams, and one day they may happen. But I have a new outlook on life - I am not letting anyone dictate my life {except GOD} - squish my dreams and tell me that I am worthless. I even want to take more classes so that I can attempt a new career. GO ME.

So, now you can see how I can be in this "funk" I am trying to come up for air, and my hubby keeps reminding me that I am a GOOD and caring person. I guess it is time to visit my therapist again....register for classes next fall and begin the slow assent to the top of the "pool". I will find myself one day.......but until then, I am slowly "sucking air through a straw"