Her memory lives on....

On October 7th, it will be a year since my momma passed. I am doing better...I don't seem to be crying all the time....but my heart strings still tug at all the memories. I was able to get my families photo albums from my father {took a lot of patience} and it is WONDERFUL!!! I now find myself sitting here reliving so many great moments with my momma.

I have thought of getting a tattoo long before my momma passed. I knew that whatever I was going to get would be with me forever, so I was taking my time in choosing the design....also, I admit...I was chicken!!! I also have been wanting to get my nosed pierced....yup - call me CRAZY!!!

So......what changed??? Bailey and I met my friend Jen at the mall on Saturday for a girls day. Over lunch, she asked if I wanted to go with her the next day...she was going to get a new tat. I figured that I may not be ready for my tat...but I would get my nose done.

Sunday - Jen and I head off to Warlock's to meet Mark. Jen new what she wanted...I was determined to get my nose pierced....but ~ it was not in the cards for me. The piercing person was not there.....so.....where did that leave me? Getting a tattoo. Standing there in the lobby surrounded by TONS of images....what to choose. I figured it was time....time to get my guardian angel. I asked if they had cancer ribbons....they were all pink, purple, multi color....but I new mine would be pearly. {lung cancer} I found the image above and new.....this was the one. I had it placed on the inside of my left wrist so that I can look at it every day, place it close to my heart and kiss it....knowing that my momma is always with me. It hurt like HELL...I can not lie...but I am so happy that I got it. no regrets!!!

So....what about the nose piercing...that will have to wait until another day.

Choo Choo.....chugga chugga ...Choo Choo

Anyone up for a game of Mexican Train game??? It was sevearl years ago while at a Thanksgiving retreat that I was introduced to this game....and may I say that it is totally addicting!!!!! Last Friday evening we had a "girls" night and played. AWESOME!!!! I met new friends, gabbed with my old friends and played a fun game of dominos. I am so ready for nest month :)

Heartache

Would you give up your relationship with your spouse and child just to have a relationship with your parents? {more so just one of your parents} Is having the biggest house and all the newest toys what is most important and truly needed to make one happy? Supposedly to my father you do.

My father does not know how to "love" unconditionally. Over the years, I have learned that my father is the type that likes to keep up with the "Jones". Because it is name brand or cost a lot "MUST" make it better than the rest. My momma on the other hand, loved unconditionally. She welcomed my hubby right into her family, unlike my father. During my momma's illness, I learned that my hubby was not welcome into my father's life. I have struggled with my feelings and wanting a relationship for my daughter with her grandfather. But I do not believe in sacrificing my family just so I can have a relationship with my father. My husband does not beat me, does not belittle me, provides a home for us and does what he loves ~ runs 2 companies and is a volunteer fire fighter} We may not live in a huge home {yes...it is a doublewide}, our cars are paid for, my daughter is in private school, my daughter swims year round, we have a Wii, ipods, cameras, do not mind shopping at consignment shops and vacation at the beach every year. Ask my daughter and she would tell you that she is happy. I work part-time so that I can be there to pick my daughter up every day....yet my father is embarrassed of me and feels that I am not providing for my daughter. My daughter is caring and compassionate and loves to give to others. To me, this is providing!

I grew up in an affluent family and lived in a 4000 square foot home.....and honestly don't care. That is just stuff...FAMILY is what is important to me and if you feel you need to judge me on "WHAT" I have or do not have, then I actually feel sorry for you. I have finally come to the conclusion that I will NEVER have a relationship with my father.....because my husband and daughter mean the world to me!

When you look at your life, the greatest happiness's are family happiness's. ~Joyce Brothers

ps. can you tell which pair of jeans actually cost over $800?

You found WHAT ......Where???

Last week was 9/11. I did not know anyone personally that was lost that day, but my husband is a fire fighter and I am so proud of all the people that serve this country. I was listening to a local radio station yesterday morning and what I heard was alarming ~ but not so very surprising. A woman had called in. She was traveling by plane from the RDU to I believe somewhere on the west coast and even had to change planes. She had a laptop {her sons} that was her carry-on ~ here at RDU she pulled the laptop out from the bag and placed both on the conveyor belt at the security stop. Everything looked good and she boarded her plane. Her trip was great. As she prepared to pack up to head home, she began to pack up the laptop. She opened one of the side compartments on the laptop bag and found a SIX inch pocket knife!!!! This bag had not left her side during her whole vacation....which means that it was there when she went through security in RDU...and their X-Ray machine did NOT pick up on it. THIS FREAKS ME OUT!!!! If this got through....what else is getting through???? I truly do not believe that after 8 years, we are any better protected from an attack. Next time I fly, I will most definitely be praying the WHOLE flight.....