Thursday, March 19, 2009

Here is your SIGN

I have been driving a rental car for the past 3 weeks while my car gets repaired. I love driving rentals because you can test out different models. Well....this Dodge has the Sirrus radio. I am now spoiled!!! Unlimited 80's, 90's, Dance, or Comedy. Can you say HEAVEN!!! Bailey has a new found love for the 80's now. Keith had me listening to the 60's last Sunday on the way to church.

On my way to work today I was on the Comedy station. I was lucky enough to catch Bill of my all time favorite comedians. It was from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie 2003......I was rolling on the floor.

Bill: She's online with her friends, and little boys are starting to call the house. Oh, my God, we had a kid call the house at two in the morning. Oh, I lost it. 'Cause first of all, I'm off in La-la land with Shania Twain in the mountains somewhere. I hear a phone ring and I'm like "Who's got a phone in the mountains??" So when I realize it's my phone, I'm already a little miffed, so I go, "Hello!" And this little voice says "Uh . . . is Emily there?" And I go, "Dude, if you have a brain in your skull, you will hang this phone up right now!" Click. Then my wife turns to me and goes, "Bill, you've got to be nice." And I go, "No, ma'am. "Nice" stops at midnight!"

Then of course he proceeds into his "Were's your sign" skits....I am laughing so hard by now that I am getting looks from other drivers while at the stop light.

On the phone with his wife when the plane he was on stopped after hitting a deer.

Engvall's wife: Oh my God! Were you on the ground?
Engvall: Nope, Santa was making one last run. Here's your sign

Truck driver gets his truck stuck under an overpass, with Engvall watching.

Cop: You get your truck stuck?
Engvall: God bless that trucker, without missing a beat, he goes: "Nope, I was deliverin' that overpass and I ran outta gas." Here's your sign.

Engvall pulls his car into a gas station after his tire goes flat.

Attendant: Tire go flat?
Engvall: Nope, I was drivin' along and the other three just swelled right up!
Attendant: Well, the heat'll do that.
Engvall: Here's your sign.

Hope everyone is having a HAPPY day! Laughter is a wonderful medicine and makes the world a better place.

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