Saturday, April 18, 2009

The REAL Me....

I dont think I have really introduced myself or my family..the ones in my life who inspire me!!!

I am 38 {but like to think of myself as being Forever 29} and married to the LOVE of my life. I was born in the SOUTH, and currently reside in the South ~ NC {I try not to claim the 8 years I spent above the Mason Dixon Line}

You parents must not have loved me {or they loved me too much} and sent me to boarding school in CT. It was an all girls school. I met some wonderful friends there ~ but now that I look back on things...I really would much rather have gone to the local school here in NC. Leaving home at 14 was REALLY tough ..... we will get back to that subject in a minute.

I met my hubby in my last year at NCSU {got my degree in Accounting} at the local country western bar ~ The Longbranch {now closed ..boohoo} took about a month - but after that we were inseperable and have been together for 16 1/2 years...married for almost 13 {in June} When we began to plan the parents didnt really want anything to do with it...they claimed it was my soon to be hubby...and that I was making a mistake. Getting married without your parents there is ...well...HARD!!! {I learned much later on that my momma had NOTHING to do with it was my FATHER ~ who has chosen NOT to be a part of our lives}

Our wonderful daughter came into this world 11 1/2 years ago and has been a BLESSING to us everyday!!!! Along with her came PPD!!! I kinda ignored it for a year or so...but when I got tired of being angry all the time and very moody...I decided to do something about it.

After 2 years of hit or miss therapy....I finally found a therapist that TRULY helped me. After talking with me for about a month...she came to the conclusion that I acutally had been clinically depressed since I was about 15. {back to being shipped off to school} The lack of a relationship with my father did not help it any.....sooooo ~ she put me on Effexor XR. Now..I have tried several other types of meds with no real effect.....but within a few weeks...I felt like a new person. Combined with therapy and meds.....I finally feel like I am learning WHO I AM!!!! and what I WANT in this life. {not that I was put here to please my father's every whim}

When my momma was diagnosed with cancer....well...depression HIT HARD again ..... I now knew what those people felt like on those commercials about depression {can't really function} my therapist UPPED my meds to the highest level.....and I FELT as normal as could be. In her last year in half - my momma taught me so much about LIFE.....and we became so close....I got to know my momma in a whole new light.

My family has been so supportive and been right with me everystep of the way. I lost my momma in October ' was a struggle but I am making it. Life has its ups and downs ~ but I am learning to let the small things slide. I need to be more patient, learn to say NO and take more time for ME! I hope to one day come OFF the meds....and do it on my OWN!!! My mother and father in law have been a HUGE blessing in my life too!!! even more so since my mothers' passing..I credit my mother in law for teaching me how to "WING IT"

Now you have a little insight into WHO I am .....and this BLOG is my way of dealing with LIFE!!! It helps me keep my sanity :) Besides my friends are a TRUE GIFT and help make life sane and FUN!!!

Depression is REAL.....listen and look for the signs. Not just YOU suffer...but everyone who touches your life. Want to learn more....check out this SITE

Every time we remember to say "thank you", we experience nothing less than heaven on earth.
-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

Thank you for stopping by!!!


Sarah said...

Hello I stumbled over here from Life is Sweet. I feel very blessed that this is the first post of yours that I have read. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope to explore your blog more.

Leanne said...

What a sweet post and a great introduction. I'm looking forward to reading some more.

Parenthood For Me said...

I am glad i read this post. I was diagnosed with depression at age 24 but realized I had been suffering from it since I was an early teen. I spent the next 6 years trying to manage my mental health. AFter a very long struggle with meds and talk therapy I diagnosed myself with OCD. I have depression, anxiety and OCD. Lovely. But I was FINALLY able to get the correct meds and dosage to help me live a good life. I believe that I will always have to be on drugs. When I have gone off of them life is good for alittle while but always turns bad. Now that I am a mother I cannot let that happen.
I wanted to tell you that I redesigned my blog and have a new "button" if you would like to sport it.